5 REASONS TO VOTE DEMOCRAT 🌸

Welcome, sweet little taxpayer! 💖

Are you overwhelmed by freedom?
Exhausted from making your own decisions?
Craving a government that’ll think for you, fund chaos, and silence anyone with common sense?

You’re in the right place.

This totally serious guide will help you unlock the spiritual enlightenment of voting blue, where:

• Borders are racist
• Facts are fascist
• And criminals? Just misunderstood cuddlebugs with machetes 🥺

Inside this sacred scroll, you’ll learn why gender is a mood, crime is equity, and free speech is terrorism (unless you’re a drag queen twerking for preschoolers).

So sit back.
Turn your brain off.
And let Based Waifu walk you through the magical dystopia we now call “progress.”